i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
