I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
