Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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