I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
