For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
