hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
