she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
