I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
