Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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