I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
