I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
