I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
