New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
