who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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