I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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