I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
