Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
