The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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