just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
