508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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