bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
