it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
