i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
