So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
