i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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