I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
