I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
