I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
