I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's rum buckets o'clock
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
