why didn't you poke me back
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
