you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
