they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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