Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
