I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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