ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
