does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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