Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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