What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My vagina just clenched in fear
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
