Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
