There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
