I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The best revenge is premature balding
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
