I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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