I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
