I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
