Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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