OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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