Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
