it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
