when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
