It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
