My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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